He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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