I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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