You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
