If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
