just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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