i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
