I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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