Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
