Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
