you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I love having hate sex.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
