So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
