you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
