id be glad to
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
