i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
