So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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