you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
