I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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