i permit you to call me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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