This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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