we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Vodka?
Forever.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
