Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
