So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
