A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
