you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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