Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
