your room smells of hookers.
And success
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
