We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
