I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
