You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
