Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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