he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
