i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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