ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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