No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
