I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
