both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
