come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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