I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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