Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
