carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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