Your dad touched me again.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
