Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
