Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
