dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
