just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This baby is an asshole
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
