a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
