the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
