Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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