Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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