i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
